I have been invited by my Pentecostal minister friends to join them in worship when I am not preaching in other churches, but I can not get myself to go to the worship services. Why? I am scared.
You see, I got beaten down with the worship style- first the fast happy praise songs and then followed by the slow solemn songs. Over and over again this is what happens on each Sunday. As if we are there to work up a feeling. The message seems like this -- God is here because we 'feel' him. As if we are seeking some kind of emotional validation that God is with us.
When someone just got through some tough emotionally draining stresses of life during the week, you got nothing to give come Sunday. The last thing you want to do is work - specially less is on your emotions because you got nothing more to give, besides I am a lazy bum.
Sunday is the time I do not want to look inside myself because honestly, I have not been that spiritual during the week. But what do I get? - Hillsongs with sentimental themes. This line used to be a blessing to me...
hold me close, let your arms surround me, bring me near, draw me to your side. And as I wait, I'll rise up like an eagle and I will soar with you, your Spirit leads me on in the Power of your love
But lately the same theme has been going on and on, it gets tiring. I do feel touched and I do not mind that, but it should be due to the truth content of the song not through the sentimentality that is in it.
Sometimes I do not want Jesus to cry with me, I want him to deliver me. I do not want him to be sentimental with me and then he and I can have a good cry, I want him to do something for me - but ....
I guess that is what he just did - 2000 years ago, in a place called Calvary.